" I don't understand why people are acting up, like He's going to go anytime now. He made a promise, He'll be here till He's 96. So why is everyone overreacting?"
When I first heard this, I got so worked up. I actually said, "You know what, I can't do this right now okay I'm all stressed again. I'll talk to you later."
This was yesterday afternoon, before coming home and writing my last post. Today, there was a 4 hour special bhajan, just for Swami. I love bhajans - completely. At the end of bhajans, we were asked to visualise Swami in the hospital and send our lights of love to him. We were asked to invoke blessings of the devas, for Swami.
As hard as I tried, I couldn't do it. Really, I couldn't wrap my finger around the idea that He is sick, and to help Him get better, or at least, try - we had to invoke the devas. My mind, at that time, had these questions :
Isn't Swami EVERYTHING?
Then shouldn't the devas also be Swami? Why are we asking Swami to cure Swami?
Why are we begging and crying, and feeling sad - as if we are anticipating His early departure, when He's already said, "I will only leave this mortal body at the physical age of 96?"
Why so much..drama?
It's important at the juncture to clearly state that I am not judging anyone's devotion for our Swami, neither am I ridiculing any form of Love for him. This is simply an experience I have had today, that I felt was worth sharing - as my two cents.
So, we sat, and chanted while meditating on His sickly form in the hospital bed. I couldn't bring myself further than imagining myself stand at the gates of the Super Speciality Hospital. This is what transpired after that...either, I was talking to myself, or (this is the option I'd like to believe) Swami was talking to me.
I Am God, I Am God, I Am God...
Swami is not sick, Swami feels no pain, Swami is not just His body...
Swami is everywhere, Swami is the Earth, Swami is the Sky, Swami is the Universe...
Swami holds the burden of the entire world on His shoulders...is the Earth ill? Yes, it is.
If the Earth heals, will Swami heal? Yes, He will...
If I Am Swami, and Swami is Me, and I am just I...I am also the Earth, Universe, Sky, Infinite..
I am on top of the globe, sitting in meditation, sending my entire form of Love and Light to the world..I bathe the world in my light of healing, love, and peace...the Earth is healing...
The Earth heals...Swami heals with the Earth - Swami is the Earth.
I disappeared from the centre hall, the chants ceased to exist in my ears, all I could feel, see and hear was that single vision of me on the globe, but it didn't look like me (or Swami). I just looked like someone sitting in meditation on top of the globe.
Coming back to the first question. He gave us His word...then WHY are we jumping the gun, and coming to our own vague, guessed conclusions?
WHO is Swami?
I think that's a question we must start enquiring, individually, deep within ourselves. Its not a question about moving beyond the form - really, why are we rushing to that point if we know and believe with complete conviction in our Swami's words? Some may say, hey, learn to trust His uncertainty, He can decide at any time to just leave. True. But I think our Love for Him is worth so much more than just an unannounced departure. At least, I believe in that...I believe, with complete faith that my Swami will not just leave without making sure, we're all okay.
I am not sad that my Baba is sick - He is NOT. He is doing something far greater than anything we can ever even try to imagine; I don't even know what it is, but I get this sense that its big.
Again and again, He's reminded us - We are no different from Him . He is Us, We are Him, We are One - That. The healing here, should start within. Cleansing should start from within...watching words, thoughts, deeds..watching our every act - LIVING Swami, BREATHING Swami, BEING Swami. I think, that's where we need to head. We so easily declare, Swami is our LIFE (even I do). But am I LIVING Swami in my life? I hardly think so.
I can feel Him, He's right here. He totally knew when I couldn't do the whole hospital visualisation on Him. Yet, the power of visualisation is immensely strong - and that's probably why He took me elsewhere today.
Again, He has given me an unshakable answer to my previous questions - my Swami lives in my heart, in me. And absolutely nothing will change that.
I have to thank this special person for planting that question in my mind in the first place; none of this introspection would have even begun if not for your persistence and complete blatant honesty with me. You are pushing me closer to Him, in ways you cannot even imagine. Even if you don't see it now, that question itself, to me, is a clear indication of how strong your faith in Him is - it is rock solid. So..thank you, and I love you loads. :)
Just...my personal reflections after today :)
Jai Sai Ram.
When I first heard this, I got so worked up. I actually said, "You know what, I can't do this right now okay I'm all stressed again. I'll talk to you later."
This was yesterday afternoon, before coming home and writing my last post. Today, there was a 4 hour special bhajan, just for Swami. I love bhajans - completely. At the end of bhajans, we were asked to visualise Swami in the hospital and send our lights of love to him. We were asked to invoke blessings of the devas, for Swami.
As hard as I tried, I couldn't do it. Really, I couldn't wrap my finger around the idea that He is sick, and to help Him get better, or at least, try - we had to invoke the devas. My mind, at that time, had these questions :
Isn't Swami EVERYTHING?
Then shouldn't the devas also be Swami? Why are we asking Swami to cure Swami?
Why are we begging and crying, and feeling sad - as if we are anticipating His early departure, when He's already said, "I will only leave this mortal body at the physical age of 96?"
Why so much..drama?
It's important at the juncture to clearly state that I am not judging anyone's devotion for our Swami, neither am I ridiculing any form of Love for him. This is simply an experience I have had today, that I felt was worth sharing - as my two cents.
So, we sat, and chanted while meditating on His sickly form in the hospital bed. I couldn't bring myself further than imagining myself stand at the gates of the Super Speciality Hospital. This is what transpired after that...either, I was talking to myself, or (this is the option I'd like to believe) Swami was talking to me.
I Am God, I Am God, I Am God...
Swami is not sick, Swami feels no pain, Swami is not just His body...
Swami is everywhere, Swami is the Earth, Swami is the Sky, Swami is the Universe...
Swami holds the burden of the entire world on His shoulders...is the Earth ill? Yes, it is.
If the Earth heals, will Swami heal? Yes, He will...
If I Am Swami, and Swami is Me, and I am just I...I am also the Earth, Universe, Sky, Infinite..
I am on top of the globe, sitting in meditation, sending my entire form of Love and Light to the world..I bathe the world in my light of healing, love, and peace...the Earth is healing...
The Earth heals...Swami heals with the Earth - Swami is the Earth.
I disappeared from the centre hall, the chants ceased to exist in my ears, all I could feel, see and hear was that single vision of me on the globe, but it didn't look like me (or Swami). I just looked like someone sitting in meditation on top of the globe.
Coming back to the first question. He gave us His word...then WHY are we jumping the gun, and coming to our own vague, guessed conclusions?
WHO is Swami?
I think that's a question we must start enquiring, individually, deep within ourselves. Its not a question about moving beyond the form - really, why are we rushing to that point if we know and believe with complete conviction in our Swami's words? Some may say, hey, learn to trust His uncertainty, He can decide at any time to just leave. True. But I think our Love for Him is worth so much more than just an unannounced departure. At least, I believe in that...I believe, with complete faith that my Swami will not just leave without making sure, we're all okay.
I am not sad that my Baba is sick - He is NOT. He is doing something far greater than anything we can ever even try to imagine; I don't even know what it is, but I get this sense that its big.
Again and again, He's reminded us - We are no different from Him . He is Us, We are Him, We are One - That. The healing here, should start within. Cleansing should start from within...watching words, thoughts, deeds..watching our every act - LIVING Swami, BREATHING Swami, BEING Swami. I think, that's where we need to head. We so easily declare, Swami is our LIFE (even I do). But am I LIVING Swami in my life? I hardly think so.
I can feel Him, He's right here. He totally knew when I couldn't do the whole hospital visualisation on Him. Yet, the power of visualisation is immensely strong - and that's probably why He took me elsewhere today.
Again, He has given me an unshakable answer to my previous questions - my Swami lives in my heart, in me. And absolutely nothing will change that.
I have to thank this special person for planting that question in my mind in the first place; none of this introspection would have even begun if not for your persistence and complete blatant honesty with me. You are pushing me closer to Him, in ways you cannot even imagine. Even if you don't see it now, that question itself, to me, is a clear indication of how strong your faith in Him is - it is rock solid. So..thank you, and I love you loads. :)
Just...my personal reflections after today :)
Jai Sai Ram.
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