24th June 2009, Tuesday.
11.34 pm.
I met a boy once. He was kind, sweet and good with his words. He struck me as someone who was independent, mature, and loving to an extent. He was intelligent and witty, sarcastic and funny, thoughtful and kind.
He told me, I was his perfect woman. I found that rather hard to believe - but after a while, I wanted to believe it too.
Just as I finally wholeheartedly believed him...he left. He disappeared. He told me, he doesn't feel the same way anymore. It won't work.
So...my question, for a long time, was....why did you even ask me in the first place? I was angry, and then sad, and then hurt, and then angry again. The normal cycle. But for something that never materialised, something that ended before it even begin? Yea..I was. And then, one day, I had a lightbulb moment. Something just snapped inside me, and I stopped feeling all the negativity.
When I look back at it now, I just smile. Its a sad smile. He was a nice guy. But nice guys don't always stay that way, do they? He has a gift, you know. He captures the most beautiful moments of life in the most amazing ways - he can do that. He does that well.
I learnt to appreciate the world around me through him..through that gift. Of course, he doesn't know. Why would he want to in the first place, right? But he was a good friend. And I suppose, in some sad way, I miss that. I don't miss the feelings and emotions that I felt when he was first around, but I miss that friend in him.
Things will never be the same. It can never be. I tried to see if it could, but its rather obvious that it won't..and maybe, its for the best.
I understand that its all part of the circle of life...there must have been some karmic debt that was left unsettled between us. There must have been something for him to teach me. There's always a reason.
The one reason I believe in, is so that I will become a stronger person. It's His way of polishing this diamond, to shine as bright and as true as always.
I wish you all the love, joy and happiness life has to offer. I pray that you achieve all that you have dreamed of, and beyond that. And I will remember, the days we were good friends and just that, because those were the days I would want to cherish, always and always.
God bless you always. May the gift He has blessed you with take you to many places, beyond borders.
8 comments:
Just because nostalgia isn't what it used to be :)
Yeap...just because nostalgia isn't what it used to be :)
reading your nostalgic scribbles answered some of the questions i've had for the longest time!
"He was a nice guy. But nice guys don't always stay that way, do they? He has a gift, you know. He captures the most beautiful moments of life in the most amazing ways - he can do that. He does that well." (so true! :)
"Things will never be the same. It can never be. I tried to see if it could, but its rather obvious that it won't..and maybe, its for the best. " ( and i really wanna believe you on this but this little girl in me is kicking me in the butt and saying its not worth fighting for! but why do i keep trying to kick her ass back!??- i suppose only time will tell) hihih
believe there is a reason for it.....
"I understand that its all part of the circle of life...there must have been some karmic debt that was left unsettled between us. There must have been something for him to teach me. There's always a reason. "
Hmm..don't be sad darshie. This post fits perfectly to a song I'm listening to now by Katie Melua,
But this life was not for you
Though I learned from you
That beauty need only be a whisper
Without you now I see
How fragile the world can be
words make and break :(
For every emotion I felt, you have penned it down oh so perfectly! It's true that there is always a reason why things happens the way it happens. Although sometimes I wish things could go back to right where it begun, the good old days when 'our' relationship was purely defined by good friendship, it isn't always the scenario. Like you, I truly believe there must have been some unsettled karmic debt which has brought the 'us' together in this lifetime. Whatever the reason maybe, for a season, 'you' were a part of my life and I was part of yours. We shared a common dream, desire and emotions. And for that my friend, wherever you are, I sincerely wish you all of life's blessings and happiness. And thank you, its been a wonderful experience=)
Once again, well written!!!
-pm-
pm,
thank you. and i wish you all the best as well.
wow. i going thru the same shyt. it makes perfect sense. all the best to you. take care =)
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